My mat: Sorry babe, no aircon today. Kereta I punya radiator rosak.
Me: Hmm ok. Tapi radiator apa benda?
My mat: You know, yang macam benda kat belakang esbok tu?
Me: -_-’
My mat: Omg HAHAHA sorry! But seriously, you know esbok dulu-dulu ada that black besi fence thingy kat blakang esbok? It’s used to radiate heat that is produced when the esbok is running.
Me: Ooooo
Following my tweet yesterday of something that most of you had a field day with, I would like draw your attention to something that totally takes the cake.
“Too sexy? Woman wears ‘outrageous’ outfit while visiting“
The sender is Beefy Khai (@beefykhai). Stomp quoted his words, taken from his blog entry, “Trending a Skimpy Hari Raya outfit? Think AGAIN.“
This guy, boys and girls, is what we call, NASI TAMBAH.
I shared this matter on Twitter, because I was in disbelief and shock. So maybe I underestimated the fact that it might enrage such pro-Melayu netizens, but to bring it all the way to Stomp, which is more or less a national platform, bukan nasi tambah 50sen lagi, dah 1dolar ni!
Beefy Khai blogged,
“Poor little girl. But I don’t blame netizens for this; you take the risk, you bear the consequences.
“
This is totally lamebook.com worthy but I can’t make a submission because they whole world doesn’t quite speak Malay. Hell, some Malays don’t speak Malay. Bak kata pepatah, gigi terselit belachan, nak makan cheese. Kalau English betul takper, tapi English grammar berterabuh, Malay step cannot make it. Apa nak jadi?
So anyway, today, I got this in my work email and LOL-ed so hard almost terlentang kat tepi printer.
It is apparently an increasing trend among sappy emo Minahs to update their status in a foreign language, something I haven’t quite caught on yet (because I am not sappy and emo?), but maybe today I should post one in Swahili. Only because Google doesn’t translate to Boyan!
And for someone who speaks/writes Spanish, I am surprised that she doesn’t recognise at least ONE of Spain’s national football team’s players. Hello, Fernando Torres? David Villa? Alejandro Ale-ale-alejandro? (HAHA)
Sia sia siak menang World Cup.
Simple rules.
Three ways to a Mat’s heart:
1) His stomach – make sure you can cook. Cook Malay food, cook what he likes and cook what his mother can cook.
2) His kukuberd – Doggy, cowgirl and a damn good blowjob.
3) His petrol – you offer to pay, he won’t always refuse.
I know it’s Raya season and all, and I shouldn’t be so explicit and bitter, but today I found out that some bitch was trying to get my mat to deliver her half-priced contra ciggs to her at her workplace and offered to topup his tank.
Look, if you can afford that, then you can afford $10++ ciggs from 7-11.
Don’t give me bull that you smoke Marlboro Ice Blast and it’s not $10++. Sebab Marlboro Ice Blast takder contra version and kau punya muka mintak kena pairap dengan aku jugak.
It being just mere days away from Raya, I cannot imagine why you’d be too free to even classify it as boredom.
But in case you really are, for whatever reason, go do a Facebook search for the page, “Hana Saemon should publicly apologise to the Malay Community.”
For the record, the real M&Ms can’t quite give half past shit about the issue. (I already asked those who I thought would be directly affected. You know, the ones who Ms Hana Saemon would insist aren’t in the same ‘social class’ as she’s in.)
So the M&Ms are simple-minded. Well, better simple-minded over arrogant, anytime.
Up to something suspicious? Or just in outer space? IT COULD BE BOTH.
Errr.. sorry I couldn’t resist using Comic Sans. There’s something about Microsoft Paint and Comic Sans. They’re like primary school bestfriends or something. HAHA.
Anyways! Last night after all 6 of us checked-in at Tang Tea House where we were dining and giggling at how obsessed we’ve become over Foursquaring ourselves, I got teased rabak because apparently, I was “off the grid” last night!
“Ah buat apa kat mana ngan siapa smalam sampai Foursquare kau off the grid?”
“Gi notti notti ehhhh..”
“HAHAHA so dodgy! Takot kita tau pastu kita gi serbu kau eh!”
Sumpah I don’t know how it was updated to ‘off the grid’! x_x
Even funnier that I’m even on Foursquare, after reading this. Then again, we Minahs think in packs, so kalau satu ada Foursquare, members pun semua mesti ada. Well, that’s how a couple of my friends got on it, because even my computer-idiot matrep of a boyfriend had it on his iTouch, so kirakan taknak kalah la you know.
At the end of the night, in our conversations, if there was anything to talk about that required mild censorship, we’d say, ‘off the grid’. So like, if your Mat tells you that you’re going out today and possibly staying out for the entire night, don’t forget you toiletries bag (with extra seluar dalam) A.K.A OFF-THE-GRID Bag! Huahuahuahuahua.
The Mat picked me up after work yesterday and as we were riding back to my place, we made a stop at Esso to pump petrol. Cheers @ Esso was selling HP all-in-one printers for only $69 and I considered getting it for personal use in my room. (I was starting to have mental images of the millions of pics I can print and stick all over my room, but not as if that’s not already the case HAHA)
Before purchasing something out of impulse, a Minah has to get a second opinion.
Or rather it’s because she’s attempting possible sponsorship.
Me: B, dorang jual printer sey. $69 only. Quite cheap right! All-in-one printer lagi.
Him: All-in-one?
Me: Yes. I think can print.. scan..
Him: Can fax?
Me: *thinks*
Him: Can laminate? Then can laminate my certs!
Me (with a face that looks like this -_-’): Asal you tak tanya can panaskan lauk skali ke, buat kuih ke, serika baju ke..
Him: Abeh you cakap all-in-one per.
So maybe he wasn’t joking when he wondered if the thing laminates, and come to think of it, it’s quite a good idea to include such a function in an all-in-one machine. Then again, since the fact that to laminate something would require the presence of high temperature, then might as well include functions to heat food right?
Print / Scan / Panaskan lauk?
Credits: Worth1000.com
Original link here.
